In keeping with a similar contest I ran in the fall of last year, this week’s Say Hey! is an opportunity to win a shit-hot mix CD created by yours truly (I swear there won’t be any polka). The task is simple: hit me with an answer sheet of the following lucky 13 trivia queries and whoever gets the most right receives a hand-delivered disc come Monday the 16th. Here now the questions, which I already ran by Alex Trebek, whom I keep shackled in one my four backyard sheds for sadistic late-night eroticism. What you see on Jeopardy is actually my friend Pete Hansen with a Buffalo Bill mask, and the entity you might know as Pete Hansen is actually walking, talking flesh on metal, Cyberdyne Systems Model 101.
1. The only major league pitcher to throw a no-hitter and hit two home runs in the same game.
2. The man who demolished Frank Gifford with a single crushing blow, essentially ending his career in the NFL.
3. Turn of the century boxing legend that spat in the face of racial standards and married three white women.
4. National broadcasting legend that spent a very short stint calling games for the San Francisco Giants in the mid ‘70s.
5. UFC superstar that once worked as a bouncer at The Library in San Luis Obispo.
6. Former General Manager of the Philadelphia Phillies born and raised in Chico.
7. Name of the WWF interview sideshow Shawn Michaels cold-cocked. Rocker tag team partner Marty Genetti.
8. Brutally awful yet always-hilarious martial arts movie series starring make out king Eric Roberts.
9. Name of the hip-hop group Shaquille O’Neal guest emceed with in the
early ‘90s.
10. NBA legend that made headlines in the 1980s for throwing a heckler through a plate glass window while out on the town.
11. This former Anaheim Angel douchebag had a rock “band” named Sand Frog.
12. The first professional women’s hardball team since the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League folded
in 1954.
13. Professional basketball player Pearl Jam originally named themselves after.
Shoot your answers over to me via email: jakes@synthesis.net. I can’t remember the name of the guy that won last year, but when I delivered the CD he was sapping hard off a midday weekday kegger, which I suppose is a pretty hard precedent to live up to. May the fastest Wiki hand win. (And just for visual clarification’s sake, that’s the cyborg himself, Pete Hansen, pictured in the bottom right hand corner of On the Town here on this same page. It was his idea to claim Trebek and we did so by staging an elaborate photo shoot in Burbank. Visual proof below.)
“Hello there. I’m Alex Trebek. And guess what? The H is O.” – famous last words
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